Poisoning Pigeons In The Park
"All the world seems in tune/On a spring afternoon,/When we're poisoning pigeons in the park./Ev'ry Sunday you'll see/My sweetheart and me,/As we poison the pigeons in the park."--Tom Lehrer
I've always maintained that Autumn was my favorite season. But that has changed. Now it's Spring. I think this is a change for the better. While not technically Spring yet, the fact that it was sunny and in the 60s this morning was enough to get me out of bed and outside to just walk around and breathe the air.
Spring is not only the time of rebirth but it also begins the Roman season of War. The month of March, after all, is named after the Roman god of war, Mars. It must have something to do with that added kick of testosterone. As Tennyson wrote in 1842, "In the spring a young man's fancy lightly turns to thoughts of love." I believe a 2006 translation would go: "In the spring a (young) man just wants to fuck anything that moves."
Spring also marks the end of the cold and flu season, but as one of my analyst friends told me, migratory birds didn't get the memo. Beginning in October, any tiny little biotech company that made any development toward an H5N1 bird flu vaccine or treatment had their stock jump. Most of these stocks, which I lovingly refer to as "Chicken Little stocks," have retained their value so far, stoked by reports of the global spread of the virus.
It's not a stretch to say that H5N1 will make it into American bird populations by next year, or even this year. Then, you'll want to short your shares of Tyson and Perdue because they'll be too busy investing to turn their operations into something resembling a computer clean room, because you have to be very hungry or an undocumented worker to want to work around chickens that can potentially kill you.
So, for those of you that thought today's blog title was a tad bit sick, wait until someone finds H5N1 in one of those winged rats that paint New York City with their white poo. Adds a new twist to the term "carrier pigeon." It will be an unrelenting, but merry, slaughter with Tom Lehrer as the soundtrack.
I've always maintained that Autumn was my favorite season. But that has changed. Now it's Spring. I think this is a change for the better. While not technically Spring yet, the fact that it was sunny and in the 60s this morning was enough to get me out of bed and outside to just walk around and breathe the air.
Spring is not only the time of rebirth but it also begins the Roman season of War. The month of March, after all, is named after the Roman god of war, Mars. It must have something to do with that added kick of testosterone. As Tennyson wrote in 1842, "In the spring a young man's fancy lightly turns to thoughts of love." I believe a 2006 translation would go: "In the spring a (young) man just wants to fuck anything that moves."
Spring also marks the end of the cold and flu season, but as one of my analyst friends told me, migratory birds didn't get the memo. Beginning in October, any tiny little biotech company that made any development toward an H5N1 bird flu vaccine or treatment had their stock jump. Most of these stocks, which I lovingly refer to as "Chicken Little stocks," have retained their value so far, stoked by reports of the global spread of the virus.
It's not a stretch to say that H5N1 will make it into American bird populations by next year, or even this year. Then, you'll want to short your shares of Tyson and Perdue because they'll be too busy investing to turn their operations into something resembling a computer clean room, because you have to be very hungry or an undocumented worker to want to work around chickens that can potentially kill you.
So, for those of you that thought today's blog title was a tad bit sick, wait until someone finds H5N1 in one of those winged rats that paint New York City with their white poo. Adds a new twist to the term "carrier pigeon." It will be an unrelenting, but merry, slaughter with Tom Lehrer as the soundtrack.
posted by Doc Paradox at 11:16 AM
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